Mandela Freed, United Nations

We can only unite our nation if we are all free. While certain sectors of the nation are shackled by the burden of poverty, they the people cannot participate in liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all.  Those who are sick whether mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually are not free to participate in the pursuit of healing if they do not get help and support in their efforts to get the best treatment. Health care for them is just not affordable at all. Right now the ill health of alcoholism is draining the brain power of our nation. Illicit drugs seem to be the only thing to numb the pain of this our most painful moment in our history. What are we doing if all we see is an increase in crime, pain and unhappiness?

Racism divides a nation. Classism compartmentalizes a nation. Political ideologies destroy a nation. Many people are in turmoil about the country that they love because it hurts when they are marginalized because of the color of their skin. I searched for an identity for a long while. If a person is a person no matter what; then how can I be a person if you treat me bad because of the color of my skin? How can you be a person if your treat other people badly?

This is a great time for nations to introduce a new cabinet position. We need a secretary of the nation in every country. This secretary of the nation should report directly to the head of state.  The primary responsibility of the secretary of the nation is to investigate, design and implement nation building initiatives. These initiatives should be underpinned by the human dignity of all people irrespective of the color of their skin, their social standing, educational qualifications, health or geographic location.

I am growing tired of the ever widening divide between the haves and the have nots. I am growing tired of people who are losing the last ounce of self respect because they just cannot overcome the odds on their own. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. It is the weak links that will eventually bring nations to their knees. We will only ignore the plight of those struggling to overcome, at our own peril.

Nelson Mandela of South Africa is such a pristine example of what it takes to build a nation. Although he was physically shackled and imprisoned on an island by his oppressors, they could never barricade his mindset.  He was always innovative in his quest to free his people. His life was the clarion call for others to liberate and transcend their thinking. He had to overcome the mindset of his peers. He had to overcome the views of his comrades. He had to defy the paradigms of his own party. He had to transcend his own past to create a viable nation for the future. He reached out to others. He engaged others. He liberated others because he was free. He did not just make a difference, he was the difference. He said that if my enemies want to alienate me, I will cross the bridge of forgiveness in order to be reconciled with them in our quest to build our nation.  He was instrumental in bringing peace and reconciliation to so many other nations. His life, example and legacy personify leadership. He remembered names and faces and he demonstrated that he cares. He connected with people. He always used diplomacy as his key to engagement. He utilized sport and he was personable. And yet, he bears the scars of his marathon struggle for freedom for all people.

I guess that many of the world’s leaders cannot lead the liberation struggle of all their peoples because they the leaders, themselves, are bound by partisan politics and ideologies. They are in the grip of their own past experiences. They still cannot give to others what they themselves did not have. They struggled to get to the position of leadership and now the people struggle to identify with their leadership. Many are just out for themselves or even worse to avenge themselves on their opposition or oppressors.  Madiba was right when he said that if we do to them what they did to us, what better are we?

My friends, we need a new world. I mean a new attitude to an old world. We need to do more to help people. We need to develop policies that will help all people and not just some people. We can only imagine what next year will look like if we can make 2010 a year where we share because we care. How wonderful will it be to visit the sick and the lonely even if they are not related by blood? They are my neighbor.   How wonderful will it be if we can share a meal with a family where unemployment is eating away their meager resources like a malignant cancer? We can lower prices to attend games and events and introduce family friendly pricing. Join the volunteer corps in your town before the last volunteer is a corpse.

So, secretary of the nation will you please use your president’s last state of the nation address and concretize it. Let the common people on Main Street and Church Street, in our towns, village squares and cities all have a sense of belonging. Do not just make us feel that we belong to this nation. Show us through your actions. Let us experience our dignity, and patriotism will revive. Let the flag of our nation fly high on the throne of our hearts. Inspire us to do more than talk. Let us start on our street and in the place where we work or worship. Help us create the difference we want.

Please join me in this discourse about freeing our people in their thinking because the UNCF motto is right: A mind is a terrible thing to waste. A mind wasted is a life destroyed. A life destroyed is a national liability. Let us embrace our diversity because diversity builds a nation, stronger. I define diversity as the cooperative of people who bring a variety of biological, spiritual and social backgrounds, styles, perspectives, values, and beliefs as assets to groups and organizations in which they work together to energize and enact the organizational mission. In this context I would say that we work together to energize and enact nation building.

Walmart Charging For Plastic Bags, Delta Increasing Price Of Checked Bags, Sarah Palin On Fox, The 2010 Auto Show; I Have Bigger Worries About Terrorist Attacks

Walmart Charging For Plastic Bags, Delta Increasing Price Of Checked Bags, Sarah Palin On Fox, The 2010 Auto Show; I Have Bigger Worries About Terrorist Attacks

I awoke this morning and for the first time I was worried. Was it a nightmare? Was I dreaming? Was I nuts? Was I paranoid? The critical question in my waking moment s was, “How safe are we in America? How safe are you where you are. How safe are we when we fly, shop at the mall, attend ball games or walk in the park?  I know that the president is saying that Americans will live their lives and not be intimidated by radical acts of violence perpetrated by fundamentalists.  Are they fundamentalist or people doing their business a smarter way? What is deplorable to us is adorable for them. We have to reframe and rethink the way forward in order to keep innocent people, safer.  There was a time when the very people who are now governing South Africa were branded terrorists.  They achieved their goal. Many people in South Africa are still bitter. Acts of terror have been replaced by organized crime. Go figure.

I once was taught the difference between goal directed behavior and goal behavior.  It basically means that when I am hungry nothing will stop me from satisfying my hunger. Once my hunger has abated, some sort of balance returns to my life. Do not pick a fight with a person who is desperate because there is no guarantee what that person will do when trapped in a corner. If they have nothing to lose, what can they lose?

Why have the radicals developed an appetite and hunger for the destruction of America. They will not stop. Can their hunger be satisfied? A billion times, no! What then is the alternative? Is it something that America has or is it something that they do not have? Is it America, is it the West or is this a group of smart business people going about their daily business?

We left South Africa in 2001 because we wanted to get away from the gun powder control of our lives. We were tired of driving through gunpowder lit neighborhoods. My children were not even scared of gunpowder anymore because they thought that it was just firecrackers going off. As long as we could hear the sounds and not see the carnage, we were okay because what the eye does not see the heart does not grieve for, my late mom used to say. We left South Africa where we  used to sit in restaurants expecting the unexpected, anytime. We lost friends in the St. James Church massacre perpetrated by the Azanian Peoples Liberation Army in 1993. The attackers were granted amnesty by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission headed by Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu. My own daughter was the victim in a car hijacking ordeal in 2001.

The Christmas Day airline bomb explanation by President Obama underlines the fact that US intelligence is not intelligent enough, yet, for the radical agenda of the terrorists.  The terrorists have a new supply chain of suicide attackers who stand ready to answer the call of duty. These are not stupid people.  They are educated. They have no past record of violence, crime or terrorist activity. They come from connected, respectable families. They are religious. They are successful in business and in practicing their profession. They are young. They are risk takers. They are educated. They are willing to trade all that they have for their ultimate pearl of great price. They too are human. They are civilians. They have family. They are smart. These are all values that we hold. What makes them different? Go figure.

I remember the Scottish Social Worker who worked in the program that I directed. She was newlywed when she came to me one morning after a traumatic event and cried. She said how can I trust my husband? How do I know that he is not a terrorist? How do I know he will not kill me? How will I know that he is not killing other people? I could only comfort her with a hug but had no answer because I do not know my neighbors, their activities, their political agendas or their alliances. I do not know who I can trust. An elementary school student walks into school with a gun. A sports star hides a gun in his locker. A gunman goes on the rampage in court, in a mall, in a church, in a park, on a plane, and on an army base. Women are now suicide bombers.

While we are debating who invented gunpowder and while Walmart is charging for plastic bags, Delta is increasing the price of checked bags, Sarah Palin will be on Fox and the 2010 Auto Show continues, I have bigger worries about terrorist attacks.

We cannot undo the invention of gun powder but we can redefine or re-conceptualize what to do with the human spirit that utilizes gunpowder in order to operationalize a political or business agenda.  One thing for sure is to stop judging them for the evil they scheme and the carnage they sow; learn from them, match them, outsmart them. Vigilance is a village effort. One person on his or her own cannot make America safe. We have to work together not just to combat terrorism but work together, period!  

On another level, we have to refrain from exploiting others because it is becoming a frenzy to utilize gun powder just for the heck of it. On yet another level, we have to eradicate poverty. It is common knowledge that 10% of the population controls 90% of its wealth.  Education is no longer enough. Employment does not guarantee safety. We have to create a world that is meaningful for all. Be patient. Be tolerant; but take a stand because the adage holds that if we stand for nothing; nothing will stand.

THIS is it

What are the following names associated with? Mark Barton, Seung-Hui Cho, Robert Hawkins, Joseph Pallipurath, Terry Ratzmann, Norman Afzal Simons, Robert Stewart, Bryan Uyesugi, and Jeff Weise are not just names. These are the names of people whose caused death, pain and destruction to themselves and others. They once were young people with ambitions, hopes and dreams. They also had fears and they may have been very isolated, and lonely. They engineered a flatline. They devastated neighborhoods. Many are still recovering from the shock and awfulness of their calculated deeds.

What about us? Which way are we going? Are we any better than them? Look at how we are treating our children and young people in care, in the juvenile justice system, in our schools and in society. And yet we say that the youth of today is it. The children and youth are special, today. They are no worse and no better than youth through the ages. It just looks worse from our aging perspective.

Young people need roots that can anchor them firmly in the social fabric and family systems. These roots are strengthened and nurtured by and through our interaction with them. This is how they learn to attribute meaning to the lives of others and to their own lives. Our interactions with each other establish rituals or meaning making systems. We connect with each other though healthy growth producing relationships. However, their reality might still be very painful.

A young person might offend by stealing something from others. Immediately this young person is a delinquent, gets a criminal record and gets a punishment that fits the crime. What have we done through our penal justice system? We inflict pain. We let them feel. We let them sweat. We let them truckle. Oh, and by the way some of our enlightened ones will protest and say that we use the principles of restorative justice. That may just mean that we have addressed the restoration of the victim. It does not mean that we have spent an ounce of energy restoring the perpetrator.

Many of the young people that I have worked with simply had communication problems. They had deficient cognitive abilities. They could not describe, explain or define their personal stuff. They might just not have known what was going on. In trying to create safe spaces for themselves they create a danger places for others. Many young people are so used to having nothing that they do not even know that they can want something. Many of our youth are lonely.

We have not yet learned to skillfully distinguish between maladaptive and deficient behavior. Our kneejerk reaction is always the same irrespective of which one is the driver. Can we at least try to engage our children and young people before the disaster they are contemplating becomes a real tragedy?

The homes and neighborhoods where they are coming from might not be the cause of their alternativeness. It may just be associated with what they are going through. Many neighborhoods are flatline neighborhoods because the risk factors annihilate the protective elements. There are just more bad things to contend with than good things to connect with in some homes and communities.

Let’s stop pretending that we are seeking to do the right thing and to seek justice for them. We are just covering our own behinds. We are just putting them away so that we can have peace. We are just medicating them to numb their senses and to delay the problems hoping that it will disappear.

Many minds manage marvelous solutions. We have tried the one eyed-approach. We have used our all seeing-eye approach. We now know that we are not better than them, maybe just a tad more resilient. Maybe we just had a few more resources. Maybe there was just that one caring person. Blaming them and shaming them is not a solution. I believe that diversity is another possible answer. Let’s put the minds of diverse people together to engage in problem solving. We have to include our young people in any dialogue about them. We cannot talk about them without them and hope to be successful.

An Awkward Letter to Coach

I salute you coach. I tip my hat to your athletes and players. I want to however, pin my colors to the coaching mast. I just love to see how animated you become as the play intensifies. I get energized to see most of the children and youth adore you. You have become a god for some.

Coach, do you know what a bench warmer is? Well sometimes I think that my child is a bench warmer. See coach, game after game after game my child just sits on the bench and never gets to play. Do you even know that my child is there? Do you know that my child is there because of the game?

I know that you love the game, sport and hobby that you are coaching. I appreciate your time, your effort and even digging into your pocket from time to time. I believe that you know the game, the play, the technique, the strategy better than most. I trust that you have the interest at heart of your students, players, athletes and protégés.

Sometimes you raise your voice and I know that is just to emphasize a point. Sometimes I can see that you are angry or upset because the play that you called was not executed according to your instructions. I know, I know coach, that it is just your passion and commitment that gets sparked into a white flame of momentary vehemence.

Coach, I am a parent. Coach I am present as a spectator at every game. I have to leave work, home and family in order to be at the game. I love my child and I want the best for my child. I come to watch every game. It is painful to see children play and their play gets interrupted by serious adults who coach a sport. I have seen this at both middle school and high school level. The children on the bench almost never get a chance to play. How are they to learn the game? How are they to gain confidence? How are they to learn team spirit? I know of a child who sat on the bench for two years. Yes, two years without playing one minute in a game. This was the state of affairs at private and parochial schools. I cannot speak for the public schools, but would like to know if this is the case in public schools as well.

It is sad to see coaches who utilize all the technicalities of the game like letting the clock run out, wasting time, and conceding penalties in order to waste time. This is just bad sportsmanship.  Coach let them play the game, coach. Coach; please don’t teach them how to win on sneaky technicalities. Coach, it is a sport. School is a time for learning. Coach, it is a time to have fun. Winning is not everything; learning is.

Coach I am not criticizing you. Coach I cannot do a better job than you. I just ask you to put my child in coach. Please let my child enjoy the time at middle school and at high school. They have lots of time to play competitively, professionally and win at all costs. Now however, is the time for them to learn and to decide whether or not they like the game?  I do not want to see a sad face again. I do not want my child to be ridiculed by others and to become stigmatized as a bench warmer. I do not want to drive back home in silence. I do not want to cry because I sympathize with the pain and disappointment of my child. I would much rather cry because he played and they won.

I would really like to know what other parents are thinking. I would really like to know if you think that I am just another crazy parent. Thank you for taking time to read these brief musings of a concerned parent. Your response is greatly appreciated. If you agree or want to add to these thoughts I will then go ahead and draft an open letter to middle and high school coaches.

Our Diaphanous Time (ODT)

ODT is the newest meltdown disease. ODT is the newest meltdown cure. It is bought on by an acute bout of the status quo, old boys club and ignorance of diversity. We have let things slide at our own peril, for too long. We have maintained our homogeneous, blinkered organizational tunnel vision. Now that we are in this crisis, the diaphanous moment of truth has been spawned. Fairness and equality was there all the time and it was not silent. We the people trusted them the leaders who ignored the gentle prodding of what is ethical and what is just. Many of us have just become insensitive to felt needs. Some of us will make time to seek opportunities to make an endless, meaningful difference. Some will just not have time to make a difference and will be surprised by a meaningless end to what they thought was life.  

  The economic meltdown ushered in this diaphanous time period. This is no time for reproach. This is the time to put our nations hand into its own bosom. This is the time to seek the voice that can speak to our conscience. Is it fair, is it right, and is it politically expedient to ignore the plight of your own people while you pursue an improved quality of life for people oceans away? Can the United States afford to build up its forces in Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq? Can the United States afford not to build up its own country and attend to the needs of its struggling masses? All our intentions whether covert or overt will eventually become transparent. This is the prelude to humankind’s finest hour of transparency in our modern history. History will bear the record of this crucible. This will be our finest hour and it will also be our darkest hour for this moment will both record our inhumanity to each other as well as our compassion and response to the call to action. This time we cannot be indifferent, intolerant, and indolent. This time we cannot become comfortable in our own perceived safe spaces. Not even the fastest sprint will create enough distance between you and those whose plight worsens daily. Many families are struggling to survive in spite of losing their jobs, their homes, their savings and their lifelong partners. Many employees are giving up on ever finding a job again. The pain is grooved on the face of many breadwinners who cannot hide their embarrassment of not being able to provide the next meal for their children. The only chant they can mutter with fatigue is that God will provide. We are all called to action. We will all be weighed and hopefully not found wanting. This is the time. This is the time when the greedy will become greedier. This is the time when the needy will become needier. Would it not be nice if we can all become greedy to meet the needs of others instead of just feeding our own wants?

Spare a thought for those workers who still have a job. Any day can bring that message that they too are being retrenched. They have to continue doing the jobs of all those who have left the employment. Their legs cannot carry them any longer than the end of their shift. They may even be off to a second job in order to make ends meet. I salute all those workers who are toughing it out. When the going gets rough the tough get energized. Gone are the days of lavish employee appreciation luncheons. Most organizations have imposed a hiring freeze. Gone are pay increases. Many organizations do not even have innovative incentive plans on their drawing boards.

This is the time. The current economic climate is forcing employers to pay attention to the needs of their staff. Employees are expected to do more for less and more with less. Managers are finding themselves in a predicament of having to focus on problems that affect staff morale that negatively impacts the quality of the services rendered to children and families.  Examples:  agencies have to spend a lot of time and money on fixing staffing problems, addressing high staff turnover rates, low morale, and dissatisfied clients. Decreasing staff morale is an occupational hazard. This is often caused by staff members who are disengaged and who do not buy into or who misunderstand the agency’s philosophy or mission.  Interpersonal conflicts, the threat of law suits, unprofessional relationships, a misunderstanding of diversity and sloppy performance in the workplace, zaps the positive energy needed to provide consistent, excellent client care. This in turn affects client outcomes.  Disengagement becomes manifest when staff members begin to act like they are victims of the system, take little responsibility for their behaviors, blame each other, their supervisors or directors.  In these situations, motivation and energy levels of the staff decrease; they seem only superficially involved and not authentically engaged with the team and with the children and families requiring the services. It is easier to fix technical problems than adaptive problems. Managers need both management and moral support to survive performance fatigue and to consolidate their teams.  Managers, if you do not value your employees how do you expect them to value your customers and clients?

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This is the time when employers should organize a retreat for their managers and supervisors and line staff. Just give them one day to help them relax, reflect and return to their everyday tasks, roles and responsibilities, rejuvenated. I do not believe and research supports the understanding that just fun, action and activities do not have a sustainable positive effect on staff training and development. Going to go-cart racing or swimming as a team, etc., does not really build the team. It is just a momentary escape and then the problems still wait for you in the workplace. It is much easier to fix technical problems than to really attack adaptive problems inherent in organizational behavior and the organizational life cycle.

Managers may be overwhelmed by expectations and challenges. We want to start by reconnecting them to the organizational mission and purpose. The sure way to do it is to emphasize self-knowledge. Managers can arrange an early morning focused walk with their staff team. I know that many would not want to walk early in the morning. The focused walk is my adaptation of a prayer walk. As you walk, distribute power thought cards as you walk. This sets the stage for people who are spiritual as well as for those who are not. Keep the activities fun. Remember that we did better at school in subjects taught by the teacher for whom teaching was fun. As children we did best when we had fun.  It is hard to satisfy a pernickety boss. 

For staffs who work in an interactive-intensive environment like a treatment milieu, school, and daycare, silly stuff works. Get staff to do some silly stuff. Silly stuff will be just that. You may paint faces, start a collage, play Simon says, rock paper scissors. They will exercise choice, a key ingredient of performance. Give them ample opportunity to focus on workplace problems and to analyze it as well. The only condition is that they do this through impromptu skits, role plays etc. They must use the arts, dancing, singing, music, mime etc.

Another strategy is what I call the Executive Director (ED) Strategy based on the work of Joseph and Harry (Johari Window?) I will ask them to tell me what they know about the ED, what they do not know about the ED, need to know about the ED and do not need to know about the ED. The ED will then validate their answers. This is the quickest way to build a shared vision, believe me. You could also use the African Bone Strategy but that will take a lot of time and it gets to the emotions a bit more. I suggest you have plenty of magazines, snacks, flowers, cameras, and news print. Try and get a local journalist to join you for the day. It blows staff away when they read about what they have done in the press.

This is the best time to create a workplace worth working in for all. The best way to value your staff is by developing a diversity plan. A diversity plan will give voice to every staff member. One of the great benefits of an effective diversity plan is an engaged workforce. This is the worst time to ignore the needs of your staff. This is your time. This is my time. It is time. Will you create the difference you want?

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